Helloo...

Hello! Where are you, my blog-alicious sisters? Is anyone out there? Is this thing on? By my estimations, it's your turn, Sandy - and now that you've proven you can "bring the heat" in the blogging world, you best get after it (Don't make me come over there!). LUVya. Peace.

Love Notes,

Byron sent me an "iCard" - I guess he knows it's the best way to communicate with me, lately, since the computer is one of my new obsessions...my little dog is the other. Hence, the card...

I thought it was sooo cute. Speaking of Byron, he was my "muse" in my last blog. He's my "Renaissance Man", and I really do love him more than my sweet little Sugar Boy!

By the way, I wrote my latest "blonde antithesis" blog at "Cuppy's Coffee" on Lee Vista , where I was treated wonderfully, enjoyed a lovely latte called Mocha Bianca, and also had FREE wireless internet access. Awesome!

Peace...and love!

Livin' Life to the Fullest

I am in the middle of reading my most recent copy of Radiant magazine. The editor references a quote by Sara Groves that really challenged me. I hope it will do the same for you!

She says, "Everything seemed overwhelming to me with young kids--introducing these very innocent babies to a very sharp, menacing, chaotic world. I was just kind of hugging the wall, feeling like, 'We'll just make it through.' I feel like when it's all over, that's not what I want to have shown my kids. I don't want my kids to watch me hug the wall -- I want my kids to see me running with my head thrown back."

Do we live in a crazy world? Yes!
Do I want to protect my children from this craziness? Yes!
Do I want my children to just "get by" in life and not experience it to the fullest? No Way!

I pray that I will never be a mom who "hugs the wall". I want to show my kids what it means to live life to the fullest...fully loving God and fully loving others!

"Blue Like Jazz"

I'm home from work today because I'm sick. I hate getting sick. The only good thing about it is the opportunity to catch up on some much needed rest. I'm going to lay in bed, blow my nose a lot, sneeze, sleep, read and watch television... not necessarily in that order.
We had college home team last night and we discussed the first chapter of "Blue Like Jazz." I read the whole book a while ago and as I reread it to refresh my memory I get new gems from it. I love this book! It challenges my thoughts on God. The "religious" thoughts of Him engrained in me as a child growing up in church. Donald Miller does a great job answering the questions everyone experiences in their walk with God. This book really does make me want to put more action behind what I claim. "Blue Like Jazz" has become intensely popular in the past few years and I suggest that you all check out what the buzz is about. It will make you re-evaluate almost every area of your relationship with Christ. From doubts to worship to tithe to relating to God... Donald hits all the marks. It is also a great book to give to a non-believer. It deals with the stumbling blocks that they may be dealing with that currently separates them from an abundant life with God. No book outside of the bible has challenged me the way this one does. Needless to say, it gets a great review from me.
Pray for me to feel better. I'd really appreciate it! I can't wait to see you all on Sunday!

Teal and Sushi

I hung out with the other C3 staff wives today. It is an amazing gift to have Angie, Sandi, and Amanda as the ladies I get to do ministry life with. I can truly say that the three of them are my closest friends. These are the friends in my life that honestly "get it" when it comes to my deepest joys and struggles. These are the friends I can confide in to hold me accountable. I love them for letting me be me. I don't have to pretend. They know my heart. They know who I strive to be in Christ. I've never felt such freedom among a group of any other ladies.
Trust is huge with women. We deal with gossip, manipulation, and pain on a much more emotional level than men. Our scars tear the heart. Angie, Sandi, and Amanda are the friends that I can pour my heart out to. A couple of months ago my life was at an all-time emotional low. I could visibly see God's direction and I was excited about where He was taking me but I didn't understand why I had to go down the road I was going down to get there. C3 was facing opposition from the devil and was using people to distract God's work. I was receiving multiple phone calls and letters from a family member who was going through severe depression and didn't know how to handle life. I was dealing with someone whom I love with all my heart yet had no hope. I wanted in my human strength to change everything but I couldn't. It was a time where God was moving in me in the biggest way so the enemy was up for a fight. The test was gut-wrenching. During one of the lowest times in my life the only people I could fully open up to were my closest C3 friends. I wasn't just on the verge of a breakdown... I had actually allowed the stress to take over my life. I had a real and very scary emotional outpouring. It was as if all of my emotions were being cleansed and purged at once. These ladies and their husbands prayed with me, for me and selflessly put their stuff aside just to be a friend. God is working out all of the details of my life and I love that I have friends who are interested in the details... even the ugly, emotional ones.
Flip side... We get each others foolish jokes. We probably aren't even that funny. But we crack each other up. I know I'm not that funny... I recycle the same stuff over and over and over again. I figure if it worked once then it'll work the next 30-40 times. I still get courtesy laughs though and that makes me feel good about myself. I love Sandi for her sweet spirit and her strong, stable nature. She is the type you can just open yourself up to and know she is listening intently without judgment. Amanda is bubbly, fun, and everyone wants to be her friend. She is my slumber party buddy. We've had some really great talks about all sorts of crazy stuff. I want to learn to cook like her too. Angie is the blonde version of me... subtle and boring... yeah right! She embraces the freedom of being the woman God created her to be. She was a bridesmaid in my wedding and from the minute I met her there was a connection. She knows what I'm thinking even before I vocalize it. These are the women I got to hang with today. I love them and thank God for them daily.

Quotable Quotes

So, Andrea got me noticing funny things that people say, and since I'm missing my boys (see "What Day Is It?"), I thought I would quote them:

Ethan: "Mom, we tried that "healthy nutritious" thing (meaning: lifestyle) before, and it didn't work out so well for us!"

Me: "Exactly what do you mean by 'it didn't work out...'?"

Nate: "He means it didn't taste good!"

Children definitely keep us humble (and exhausted - i.e. Leigh Ann's post today!).
Oh well, "live,love,laugh..." I always say (unless I'm grumpy like today, then I still say it only in a grumpy voice!) Peace.

Quote of the Day

I won't do this everyday but this one really cracked me up. I did a friends makeup today and we were goofing off and just being crazy (as usual.) I said something ridiculous. My friend Jen said , "Andrea just has this way of making everyone feel uncomfortable." Raucous laughter ensued. I love friends who tell it to you straight!

Perfect

Until today the word "perfect" described my driving record. I had never gotten a ticket, caused an accident, or even been pulled over for a warning before. Not even a parking ticket. I was proud of my perfect driving record. But lately, God has been trying to teach me that I can't be perfect and, more importantly, that I shouldn't expect perfection from my children or my husband or my friends. I have a tendency to let little mistakes ruin my day, my week, my world. I wish I would have learned this simple lesson before this morning.

You see, I was running late for a doctor's appointment. If you know me at all, then you know that I am always running late. There was a speed trap in the Quadrangle. The police officer walked out into the road in front of me and pointed to me. I felt that dropping feeling in my stomach. I drove away after less than 5 minutes with a ticket for $155.50 for going 42 MPH in 30 MPH zone. My children thought I was going to have to go to jail. My six-year-old (Luke) even offered to pay the ticket from the money in his piggy bank to keep Mommy out of jail. Caleb made fun of me at the doctor's office saying "Hi, my name is Sandi. I was just pulled over. Will you be my friend?" My children made me laugh. My kids don't expect me to be perfect. Then I called my amazing, loving husband. He told me not to worry about it because it isn't a big deal and reminded me how much he loves me. My husband brightened my day. He doesn't expect me to be perfect either. Then I met some friends at the Splash Zone. They told me their "driving infraction stories"...many of which were much more exciting than mine. They made me laugh. My friends don't expect me to be perfect.

I thought about how I react sometimes when my kids and my husband mess up. How I often tell Travis to "slow down because you're going to get a ticket." How I tell my children that they need to slow down and consider the consequences of their actions. So, it's my turn to slow down and thank my perfect God for blessing me with family and friends who don't expect me to be perfect. My day was not ruined. Actually, it has been a great day. And hopefully this time I've learned the lesson that God has been trying to teach me and I will respond to my children, husband and friends with encouraging words when they mess up like me. And in case I don't, feel free to ask me about how I lost my cell phone or just say "$155.50."

My favorite quote of the day

A couple weeks ago I wrote a blog on Darrell's site about a friend of mine who has recently given her life to the Lord. She had never, ever been to church before coming to C3 with me one Sunday. She's been back every week since with new friends she's inviting on her own. She is so excited to share with all of her family and friends the amazing things God is doing in her life. She is ravenous for truth. Today she asked me to share with her some of the bible stories that her three year old has been learning about in church. I told her about Ruth, Esther, Daniel and she was fascinated. With every story she wanted to know more. Then we got to Paul. I told her how Paul had murdered so many Christians before his encounter with God. Then I explained to her how influential Paul became for the cause of Christ. I told her how God can use anyone who is willing to accept Him. She just looked at me with the most sincere look in her eyes and said, "If Jesus could save Paul then He can save anyone."

The Devil is Real

Today Byron's sermon was titled "The Devil Is Real". There were several things that challenged me this morning. I have to make a conscious effort to make every second of my life count. In the one hour that I was at church this morning, I was focused on worshipping. However, that is ONE hour of my week. When I am not making an effort to be focused on God and the things of God, that is when Satan will tempt me and try to make me fail at living a Christ-centered life. Satan is very real and he is my enemy and anyone else's enemy who claims to be a Christ-follower.

An area in my life that I have really been struggling with this lately is anger. I have come to realize that it is not other people who are the enemy--it is Satan who is the enemy! He loves the fact that I can get so worked up about how someone has hurt me or my church. A lot of times I try to justify my anger in my mind and say, it's okay to be mad--look at what that person said or look at how that person treated me.

When I spend my time being angry or bitter, Satan is getting all of the glory. He has the victory. I am making a conscious effort this week to NOT waste my time on things that are not God-honoring.

*I will not waste my time being angry. Instead I will pray for those who hurt me. I will love them.

*I will not waste my time feeling sorry for myself. Instead I will count my blessings.

*I will not waste my time gossipping or talking negatively about others. Instead I will encourage those around me.

*I will not waste my time being frustrated with my kids or husband about little things that don't really matter. Instead I will praise them and appreciate the little things they do.

*I will not waste my time watching mindless t.v. (Except for maybe "So You Think You Can Dance").

I WILL make a conscious effort to live a life that honors Christ!

The Privilege of Peace

If you've read any of my more recent blogs, you may have noticed that I always sign out with one word: Peace.

I'm not sure how it started, except for the fact that it's what we all need in this crazy, messed-up world: REAL peace.

I guess it's been on my mind a lot lately. Any time there's conflict or stress, human beings will crave peace and quiet. Anytime someone is desperately lonely or sad, they desire peace and joy. Anytime we face trauma or even death, we long for the peace that defies human comprehension. There's just one problem - we can search for it, beg for it and even die fighting for what we think will bring real and lasting peace, and it may still elude us.

But, have you ever watched someone go through a terminal illness, and yet have peace about tomorrow regardless of whether the healing comes? Have you ever witnessed someone deal with the loss of someone they would, themselves, have died for, and yet have joy through the gut-wrenching sorrow? Have you ever seen the miracle of REAL PEACE in the midst of the most grueling of circumstances? If you have, you know it. It can be life-changing to observe.

This is the peace of a ransomed heart - the peace of knowing that in the middle of the storm, and with the knowledge that striving will never end this side of Heaven, there can be songs of victory. Real peace is not found in the absence of war or heartache. It can't be purchased like a slogan on a t-shirt. It has already been bought, and it is offered to us for free.

When I say "Peace.", it is my hope that everyone will embrace it - there's nothing quite like it, and it is my prayer for you today.

Jesus said, "My peace I give to you, not as the world gives...". We have the privilege to rest in His Peace - why should we live below our privilege? It is my prayer that we will become known for our love (Love DOES win - yea!) and our...

PEACE.

My hardest lesson in love

God is amazing how He speaks. I've been really talking to Him today about how to love someone I want nothing to do with. Those who hurt me and the ones I hold closest to me. It is something I constantly have to give over to Him. I am a first born and tend to be very protective by instinct. I have tendencies and urges in my feisty Latina nature to want to write people off or snap back. I'm learning to let go.

There is a song that plays on the radio that I really relate to in a strange way. It is by a group called "Red Jumpsuit Apparatus." It is about an abuser and his relationship with the person he abuses. Some of the lyrics go "do you feel like a man when you push her around, do you feel better now when she falls to the ground?" The way I relate to this is that I see the "bullies" using their methods of assault through verbal intimidation, gang mentality, and blow after blow to the heart and soul of C3. That heartbeat being that of loving God and loving others. When God places a heart of love in people it is amazing what Satan will do to try to test that love. I want nothing more than to love God and love others but the devil is testing, testing, testing all the time. We've put it out there and he's ready to see how serious we are. I just don't get it. I wonder if it makes some people feel good to threaten, scream, kick and holler like a big elementary school kid wanting to dominate the playground with their posse. I've never really been afraid of the bully though. God has blessed me with not having a spirit of fear in this area of my life... alligators scare the junk out of me though... different topic. Even though I have little fear about the bullies in my life I still get very angry about the way people act. I constantly need to ask God to allow me to feel anger in a healthy way. I don't want to live in a constant state of anger. I don't want to sin in my anger.

Let me tell you about Matthew 5. It is in my face tonight. Since I'm talking about assault in one manner let me express it in a different form... this chapter smacked me right upside my head. A good pain though.... kinda like when you get a real deep massage and it hurts in the moment but when it's done you just feel at peace. So the answer to "how do I love someone I want nothing to do with." Let them hit me with all their strength again... I'm gonna stand there and take it. It is the best way I can show love to those who hurt me. Read it for yourselves. It's unbelievable! What a ridiculously hard thing to do. The funny thing about God is that He calls us to do what is entirely opposite of normal... what does the "normal" reaction prove? It doesn't prove love. It just proves that I can respond exactly the same as anyone else. He wants me to do something absolutely ridiculous! The scripture says that it is easy to love your friend but if you love your enemy it brings out the best in you. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer. I do pray for those who have issues with the way God decides to move at C3 and then act on their issues. I'm making a commitment to pray like I've never prayed before for love to overflow in my life. So to make love win in my life I'm praying that I live generously and to those who choose to attack... I will take the next punch. Oh, by the way... love wins! Love you!

C3 Women Speak Out!

Periodically, we may highlight other C3 women's blogs that we love to read.

Recently, we have enjoyed and been challenged by Leigh Ann's musings. The posts here and here and here are especially insightful.

Also, check out Brittney's blog - her excitement and passion for ministry is contagious, especially the post i-know-i-am-not-alone.

Hopefully, you will be as inspired and sometimes entertained as we have been. Enjoy!

Beauty from the Inside Out

Some of you may not know that my day job is that of a licensed, professional makeup artist and esthetician. I have been in the industry for 11 years now. I think it would be fun to get to know the ladies reading these blogs a little better. If you have any beauty, skin care, or makeup questions post them in the comment section of this blog and every Friday I'll answer some of them. I have secretly always wanted my own magazine beauty column so this will be exciting for me! Ask away!

Best Baby Ever

God has blessed Barry and me with the best baby ever. Seriously. Jackson was born in February of this year and he is the most laid back of all 3 of our children.

We were a little apprehensive about what the third child would do to the dynamics of our family of four, but Jackson has been the cherry on top of our already delicious sundae. I'm not saying that the first few weeks were a breeze or that he slept through the night when we brought him home from the hospital, but the personality that we see developing in him has been a great addition to our family.

Emma and Ansley love being little mother hens to him and Barry is DEFINITELY a proud papa! If I had known boys were this easy, I would have had one first! :) (I better not speak TOO soon. After all, he's not a toddler yet!)

Almost everyone who has three or more children has told me that after you have your third child, you might as well keep going because it just gets easier. I'm not sure I buy into that theory yet. Byron and Angie's theory is "Four and No More". I think Barry and I will coin the phrase, "Three is Enough for Me!"

We are so thankful for all three of our children and we consider them a gift that God has entrusted to us for a little while. Our prayer is that we will be the kind of parents that point our children to Jesus and that they grow up with a heart for Him.

Confessions of a Couch Potato...

So, I just finished my work-out on the elliptical machine - and I use the term work-out very loosely and relatively speaking. When I reached the point of a near-death experience, I asked my trainer/husband how long it had been and he replied, "two and a half minutes" (he could've at least rounded it up!), Then, I noticed I had burned about 30 calories. I thought this was pretty good - so I asked how that would translate - (because I'm rationalizing that it's not about how long, but about how many calories). So Byron answers, "Well, that's about half a glass of Perrier". Which, by the way, made me have to get off the stupid thing and get a glass of Perrier! I read something about how you have to stay hydrated when you're stressed - and I'm definitely stressed!

I think I'm gonna throw-up - I wonder how many calories that would burn? - Oh great, now exercising has given me an eating disorder. I think I should stop the madness and go watch re-runs of "The Biggest Loser"! Also, I feel a virus coming on because Byron mentioned something about tomorrow including the Bowflex...I think I'm gonna go take my temperature (I just want to be safe). ...Oh the humanity! Peace.

"Please don't tell anyone...

that my husband is a pastor." I find myself saying that to my friends a lot. I don't say it out of shame or a free pass to behave however I'd like but there is a wall I must get through when people immediately find out I'm a pastors wife. There is some "pastor's wife mold" I'm supposed to fit into or something. I think people expect me to be simple, plain, wise beyond words, "Ann Taylor-ish", churchy, and religious. I have a friend I work with that loves to tell everyone what Darrell does the second they meet me for the first time. She knows I hate it but she gets a kick out of people's reaction. I guess because I don't fit that mold of what some might expect. I'm flamboyant, boisterous, silly, free-spirited, multi-faceted, a bit flighty, non-religious, "Urban Outfitter-ish," and a bit eccentric. The reason I don't want people to immediately associate me with my husband's title is that some act differently around me. It's as if some walk on eggshells, some won't get to know me out of fear I may judge them, some immediately get defensive and tell me everything that they hate about Christians and church. The truth is I enjoy getting to know people just as they are. I want to know their quirks, the good, the ugly, even the dirty. These are the things that make us who we are. God created me and I've had good, ugly, and dirty in my life as well. One thing I've always tried to remember is what God has brought me through. I'm no different than anyone else but I have been delivered from the ugly and dirty. If we say that we want to be authentic as Christ followers then why do we expect everyone else to act in an non-authentic way around us? While we were YET sinners Christ died for us. God loves us in spite of. If we are showing Christ's love we need to love in spite of as well. I love being a C3 staff wife. I absolutely love bringing new people to C3. That stigma that comes with being a "pastor's wife" usually subsides when I have a friend come in and they are shown love like Christ from my C3 family. I want a revolution. I want to hear my friend at work say, "Guess what her husband does," and I don't feel the air change. I would love for everyone I come in contact with to immediately be receptive to the love of Christ. This will never happen as long as Satan roams this earth. He is a liar and a manipulator of truth. So I just pray that people will see me as Andrea... a loving, authentic person. Through this I can gain the respect to show them that they are not my projects as a Christian or pastor's wife but they are people that God loves and can give abundant life to. Yes, it's true, I'm a pastor's wife... a really HOT pastor at that... but first and foremost I am a child of the One who loves beyond measure. I love being a C3 wife because we break the mold... it truly is all about L-O-V-E!

Turning Leaves

Today is the day. I'm going to exercise. I've got to start if I'm gonna be buff by 40. So, although I'm sure blogging must burn some calories (have you read my blogs? I mean, SERIOUSLY!), I'm gonna have to get with it - the rest of you are putting me to shame - In fact, I'm filled with such a sense of self-loathing at my complete lack of exercise that I think I need to go to bed...

When you see me ask me if I've kept my word and turned over a new leaf - then I'll give you a dirty look and be tempted to lie - man, I'm a horrible example! MY BODY IS A TEMPLE!!! Now I really feel bad - where are my twinkies! JUST KIDDING. Peace.

Undignified

What if we learned this choreography for praise team? I think it would be fabulous!

Dentists and Ministry

Today I took my oldest daughter, Emma to the dentist. It was her first visit and she was surprisingly excited about it! She did very well and has no cavities. (Yeah!--She's got her daddy's teeth, hopefully his vision, also!)

Going to the dentist is one of my least favorite places to go. Not because I don't like my dentist, but because of the excruciating noises, the way that they expect you to carry on a conversation with 8 tools in your mouth, and the bad news that I usually receive before I leave. ("We need to schedule you for a root canal." or "You have 4 more crowns that need to be put on, when can we schedule you for your first one?" or "That will be $678.94.")

The visit that I have the worst memory of from the dentist was when I had a root canal a couple of years ago. For those of you who have never had a root canal, there is usually no way to avoid having one unless you want to live with the pain. I had to lay in a chair, fully awake, with my mouth wide open (yes, I know I have a large mouth, but it still hurt!) for approximately an hour and a half. I had medicine to numb my mouth, but I could hear every drill and scrape for the entire time, which was just as painful. The dentist asked me question after question and all I could do was grunt or (slightly) shake or nod my head.

This reminds me of being a pastor's wife. So often we are expected to act or talk a certain way. People (dentists) are watching us (asking us questions), waiting for us to mess up and so often we don't have the words or actions THEY want to hear or see. It's like we're talking with a mouth full of gauze...they can't understand what we are saying. It's painful to try to live up to other people's expectations of us. We want people to like us and not have unrealistic expectations of us.

God has taught me so much about this over the past year. It doesn't matter what other people expect from me! It doesn't matter that others want to see me act a certain way or say the "right" thing. God created me to be ME! He didn't create me to please everyone else. I live for an audience of ONE. I believe this has been a hard lesson for me to learn. I grew up as a pastor's daughter and ALWAYS did the right thing, not just because I didn't want to disappoint God, but because I didn't want to disappoint others or my parents.

I am so thankful that I don't have to pretend to be someone I am not. I am thankful that God has placed me in the ministry to serve alongside Barry, not to please others but to please HIM. I am so excited about what God has done and will continue to do in my life and in the lives of so many others at c3.

Next week I will go back to the dentist to get one more crown put on a tooth. There will probably be more unpleasant visits, just like there will be unpleasant times in life, being a pastor's wife. But just like my tooth will look and feel better after I get a crown, I will be a better person because of the struggles in ministry and in life!

"Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." Galatians 1:9 - 10 (NIV)

Loving my teeth,
Amanda

Happy Birthday Andrea!

Your girls want to wish you a Happy Birthday, and let you know how glad we are that you were born! You rock! You're a rapping diva with awesome shoes - free to be fierce! You are an awesome friend, and C3 wouldn't be the same without you. We wish for you peace, love and freedom for the coming year - this will be the best one yet! Thanks for being you. We love you - Sandi, Amanda, and Angie.