I just finished reading "The Gutter: Where Life Is Meant To Be Lived" by Craig Gross. He is the co-founder of XXXChurch.com. This book talks about how Jesus lived a life of meeting people in their deep, dark places and how we as Christ-followers are called to do the same. It is thought provoking and insightful. I wanted to share some quotes that really stuck out to me.
-Those who are most opposed to the gutter are those who have been there the least.
-The gutter is the place where the "least of them" live. *Matthew 25:45
-If Christians would stop being scared of the world-or the gutter-I think most of them would find out for themselves that it is definitely not the place they want to be. It a change of perception I wish more people would adopt: to focus more on the great life we have in Christ than on the fleeting lures of the gutter. The more afraid we are of the gutter, the larger it looms and the more tempting it becomes.
-When you look at the way Jesus and the things He did, the way He brought light to darkness, you can plainly see we have nothing to be scared of.
-God did not create you to be a scared, irrelevant Christian.
-If you go to the gutter you have to be willing to stay in the gutter. Our Christian mentality is to visit the gutter over spring break or during a summer missions trip.
-Don't blame the dark for being dark. Blame the light for not shining on the dark.
-Jesus was a genuine lover of people, and everyone flocked to Him because He met needs, not because He preached about the kingdom of heaven. He met needs first as a practical way of showing that He loved people, then He got into the meatier theological issues.
-Whom are we fighting? Are we fighting to win the world to Christ? Or are we just fighting among ourselves in church? Are we too much about getting fed and too little about exercising our faith? Yes, we keep fighting the good fight, but must we fight our brothers and sisters in Christ? No one wins that way. Why can't we all put our focus on the lost, those living in the dark places, the "whosoevers" that are so close to Christ's heart?
-Where darkness abounds, love is brighter.
And... this was the most mind boggling to me.
-The unchurched embraced Him (Jesus) then, but they don't now. So when did this spiritual reversal occur? When did the "lost" change their position? They didn't. We did. Christians did. Somewhere between the time Jesus ascended into heaven and now, we Christians, the walking billboards for Jesus' life-changing power, have done a lousy job of maintaining His momentum. Those who despise Him shifted too. The religious who once hated Him now advertise for Him. The lost who once hung out with Him now refuse to acknowledge Him and it is all because Christians changed. God didn't change. Jesus didn't change. His people did. At one point, the God who embraced the gutter was well represented. Jesus walked the streets and took an authentic love with Him-all the way to the gutter. Wherever He went, the unchurched responded while the religious scorned. Fast forward two thousand years and now the reverse is true.
The gutter is different for everyone. God calls us each to accomplish a specific purpose. Where is your gutter? Who are those you need to reach out to in their deep, dark place? I'm challenged by this.
Showing posts with label grace. Show all posts
Showing posts with label grace. Show all posts
Monday, December 10, 2007
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
What I've Done
I'm forgiving what I've done.
Now what will I do?
Deuteronomy 15:10
Give freely and spontaneously. Don't have a stingy heart. The way you handle matters like this triggers God, your God's, blessing in everything you do, all your work and ventures. There are always going to be poor and needy people among you. So I command you: Always be generous, open purse and hands, give to your neighbors in trouble, your poor and hurting neighbors
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Glossy Images
More and more I'm realizing that there is one huge danger that sticks out in my mind that relates to people who have been Christians a while. I have been guilty of it myself. I'm challenged by it everyday. I'll tell you what I think it is later but first I want to share a story with you.
There is this girl I know. She's the outgoing, up for anything, always wanting to make others happy type. Despite her joy she lives with a continuous sorrow. You see, the joy she has now comes from her faith in Christ but there is a life before that faith. The sorrow comes from those in her life who haven't experienced the same joy she has yet. Allow me to elaborate.
My friend grew up in a home where she knew both of her parents loved her. She also knew that her dad was an alcoholic. Because of the addiction in his life her dad was incapable of being the husband and father he needed to be. She knew of his late nights out, or nights away. She knew of his infidelities and flirtations. She knew... and what she knew hurt. She longed for him to have the faith in Christ he spoke of in church with his Sunday School class or as a deacon. She longed for him to cry out to God the way she saw her mother do it. She longed, and she prayed, and she screamed, and she cried. The message he spoke of with his mouth he knew in his mind but it had no meaning in his heart. This was all very confusing to my friend. Her dad was very harsh and critical towards other "sinners." Harshest to the ones who dealt with the sins he loathed secretly in himself. She didn't understand why he was so aggressive towards others when he was tearing her family apart with his actions. My friend dealt with huge insecurities because of this. Mostly with guys and trust. Her trust was broken again and again and again with guys in her life as she grew older. But God had plans for her. He pulled her from a life that could have ended in pain and destruction and set her on a path of genuinely knowing Him. She met the one, true God. The one her mother cried and clung to. Not the image of Him painted with empty words and fruitless actions. God now continues to place people in her life that have similar struggles. She prays that God will use her life to affect others. My friend still prays for her dad. She still cries out to God for Him. She still has a place of grieving for him. But she has hope.
My friend... is me.
The danger that we face as Christ followers is forgetting what God saved us from. We should not dwell in our pasts but we must learn from it. It is very safe to surround ourselves with people who look like us, talk like us, and act like us but that is not what Jesus did. Jesus was perfect... who would he have hung out with when he came to earth? He was purposeful in being a friend to the sinners. That bears repeating. Jesus was purposeful in being a friend to the sinners.
It is so easy to criticize others. Usually the things we criticize the most are the things we struggle with in ourselves. I do it. I violently twitch inside when someone does something around me that I know I deal with in myself. I want to remember the things Christ has accomplished in me. I need to be reminded of His grace. If I forget the grace He's shown me then how can I be willing to tell others about it? If I forget His grace then how can I extend it to others? I don't want to live a life of glossy images and rose colored scenarios. God allowed me to face the trials in my life to glorify Him. I want my life to be a real example... not a fairy tale version of whatever I make it out to be. I love when my sister says, "don't be a stoner." I don't want to throw the stones of inadequacy at someone because they sure hurt when they are thrown at me. I ask God to never let me forget grace because people's lives are too valuable. My daddy's life is too valuable.
Ephesians 2
7 -10Now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It's God's gift from start to finish! We don't play the major role. If we did, we'd probably go around bragging that we'd done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing.
There is this girl I know. She's the outgoing, up for anything, always wanting to make others happy type. Despite her joy she lives with a continuous sorrow. You see, the joy she has now comes from her faith in Christ but there is a life before that faith. The sorrow comes from those in her life who haven't experienced the same joy she has yet. Allow me to elaborate.
My friend grew up in a home where she knew both of her parents loved her. She also knew that her dad was an alcoholic. Because of the addiction in his life her dad was incapable of being the husband and father he needed to be. She knew of his late nights out, or nights away. She knew of his infidelities and flirtations. She knew... and what she knew hurt. She longed for him to have the faith in Christ he spoke of in church with his Sunday School class or as a deacon. She longed for him to cry out to God the way she saw her mother do it. She longed, and she prayed, and she screamed, and she cried. The message he spoke of with his mouth he knew in his mind but it had no meaning in his heart. This was all very confusing to my friend. Her dad was very harsh and critical towards other "sinners." Harshest to the ones who dealt with the sins he loathed secretly in himself. She didn't understand why he was so aggressive towards others when he was tearing her family apart with his actions. My friend dealt with huge insecurities because of this. Mostly with guys and trust. Her trust was broken again and again and again with guys in her life as she grew older. But God had plans for her. He pulled her from a life that could have ended in pain and destruction and set her on a path of genuinely knowing Him. She met the one, true God. The one her mother cried and clung to. Not the image of Him painted with empty words and fruitless actions. God now continues to place people in her life that have similar struggles. She prays that God will use her life to affect others. My friend still prays for her dad. She still cries out to God for Him. She still has a place of grieving for him. But she has hope.
My friend... is me.
The danger that we face as Christ followers is forgetting what God saved us from. We should not dwell in our pasts but we must learn from it. It is very safe to surround ourselves with people who look like us, talk like us, and act like us but that is not what Jesus did. Jesus was perfect... who would he have hung out with when he came to earth? He was purposeful in being a friend to the sinners. That bears repeating. Jesus was purposeful in being a friend to the sinners.
It is so easy to criticize others. Usually the things we criticize the most are the things we struggle with in ourselves. I do it. I violently twitch inside when someone does something around me that I know I deal with in myself. I want to remember the things Christ has accomplished in me. I need to be reminded of His grace. If I forget the grace He's shown me then how can I be willing to tell others about it? If I forget His grace then how can I extend it to others? I don't want to live a life of glossy images and rose colored scenarios. God allowed me to face the trials in my life to glorify Him. I want my life to be a real example... not a fairy tale version of whatever I make it out to be. I love when my sister says, "don't be a stoner." I don't want to throw the stones of inadequacy at someone because they sure hurt when they are thrown at me. I ask God to never let me forget grace because people's lives are too valuable. My daddy's life is too valuable.
Ephesians 2
7 -10Now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It's God's gift from start to finish! We don't play the major role. If we did, we'd probably go around bragging that we'd done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Don't Call Me A Christian- Revisited
*Darrell and I met with our college home team tonight. We are going through the book "Blue Like Jazz." I read this book a while ago and it quickly became my favorite read. If you haven't read it I strongly suggest it. We discussed Chapter 11 tonight and it reminded me of my very first blog. Chapter 11 challenged my thought of "being IN the world and not of it." We must not shelter ourselves. A lot of "religious" Christians hide behind this verse by only emphasizing the part of not being of the world. We have a responsibility as Christ followers though to be very relevant IN this world. I'm reposting my first blog tonight because I'm in a constant state of feeling the things I write about in it. Those feelings hit me hard again tonight.
When I think about what it means now to be called a "Christian" I get knots in my stomach. I have no shame in lining myself up with Jesus Christ but it hurts me to align myself with those that say they represent Him and show no love to those who are different than them. I've grown up in church all my life and have seen hundreds upon thousands of Christians who know a lot but don't show a lot. I would be a liar if I said that was never me. Growing up I took a lot of pride in being a "good girl." I followed all the rules that were indoctrinated into me. Regardless of all my deeds I had a dead faith. I looked upon those who were different as messed up or corrupt. I needed Jesus to resurrect Himself in my life again. I was the so-called Christian like the church in Galatians. The one enslaved by law forgetting about my freedom in Christ. God is a God of change yet He always stays the same. The change He is doing is within me.
I have a friend of mine that just gave her life to the Lord. I'm quite emotional about it. I truly think it is the first time that God has intentionally placed me in someone's life and I layed my pride aside. God used her in my life to teach me a lesson and bless me through her newfound faith. My interactions with her and my prayers for her were not based on another notch in my evangelism belt but out of a deep need to show love again. Love that saved me from bitterness and anger. Love that saved me from mediocrity and hypocricy. That is not to say that I am not mediocre or hypocritical at times. I am... I am human, but through Christ I am made whole and perfect. He purges the impurities in my life and actually uses my weaknesses to show His strengths. If he can change a jaded Christian and turn them into a loving Christ follower, then He can truly save anyone. 99% of the time it is the "Christian" that shows the least amount of love in this world. We need change more than those we consider the greatest offenders because we represent Him... and what a poor representation of the love of God we have shown.
Let me finish by saying this. How can we say that we love God and not truly love others? I've read this so much I've memorized it. It is so engrained that I could rattle it off to the point of it having little or no meaning. Let it mean something. 1 Corinthians 13:1-7&13 "If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn't love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God's secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn't love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it, but if I didn't love others, I would have gained nothing. LOVE IS PATIENT AND KIND. LOVE IS NOT JEALOUS OR BOASTFUL OR PROUD OR RUDE. IT DOES DEMAND IT'S OWN WAY. IT IS NOT IRRITABLE, AND IT KEEPS NO RECORD OF BEING WRONGED. IT DOES NOT REJOICE ABOUT INJUSTICE BUT REJOICES WHENEVER THE TRUTH WINS OUT. LOVE NEVER GIVES UP, NEVER LOSES FAITH, IS ALWAYS HOPEFUL, AND ENDURES THROUGH EVERY CIRCUMSTANCE. Three things will last forever-faith, hope, and love-and the greatest of these is love."
When I think about what it means now to be called a "Christian" I get knots in my stomach. I have no shame in lining myself up with Jesus Christ but it hurts me to align myself with those that say they represent Him and show no love to those who are different than them. I've grown up in church all my life and have seen hundreds upon thousands of Christians who know a lot but don't show a lot. I would be a liar if I said that was never me. Growing up I took a lot of pride in being a "good girl." I followed all the rules that were indoctrinated into me. Regardless of all my deeds I had a dead faith. I looked upon those who were different as messed up or corrupt. I needed Jesus to resurrect Himself in my life again. I was the so-called Christian like the church in Galatians. The one enslaved by law forgetting about my freedom in Christ. God is a God of change yet He always stays the same. The change He is doing is within me.
I have a friend of mine that just gave her life to the Lord. I'm quite emotional about it. I truly think it is the first time that God has intentionally placed me in someone's life and I layed my pride aside. God used her in my life to teach me a lesson and bless me through her newfound faith. My interactions with her and my prayers for her were not based on another notch in my evangelism belt but out of a deep need to show love again. Love that saved me from bitterness and anger. Love that saved me from mediocrity and hypocricy. That is not to say that I am not mediocre or hypocritical at times. I am... I am human, but through Christ I am made whole and perfect. He purges the impurities in my life and actually uses my weaknesses to show His strengths. If he can change a jaded Christian and turn them into a loving Christ follower, then He can truly save anyone. 99% of the time it is the "Christian" that shows the least amount of love in this world. We need change more than those we consider the greatest offenders because we represent Him... and what a poor representation of the love of God we have shown.
Let me finish by saying this. How can we say that we love God and not truly love others? I've read this so much I've memorized it. It is so engrained that I could rattle it off to the point of it having little or no meaning. Let it mean something. 1 Corinthians 13:1-7&13 "If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn't love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God's secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn't love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it, but if I didn't love others, I would have gained nothing. LOVE IS PATIENT AND KIND. LOVE IS NOT JEALOUS OR BOASTFUL OR PROUD OR RUDE. IT DOES DEMAND IT'S OWN WAY. IT IS NOT IRRITABLE, AND IT KEEPS NO RECORD OF BEING WRONGED. IT DOES NOT REJOICE ABOUT INJUSTICE BUT REJOICES WHENEVER THE TRUTH WINS OUT. LOVE NEVER GIVES UP, NEVER LOSES FAITH, IS ALWAYS HOPEFUL, AND ENDURES THROUGH EVERY CIRCUMSTANCE. Three things will last forever-faith, hope, and love-and the greatest of these is love."
Friday, September 14, 2007
The Full Circle Friendship
I have an uncanny ability to pick up right where I left off. It's really weird actually. When I am holding a conversation with someone and the subject moves on to something different I can get back to the original conversation like nothing happened in between. I just like the idea of completing the thought process. I picked up where I left off in another way this week.
A couple of years ago I worked at Saks Fifth Avenue. I had a friend there that I instantly bonded with. She was artistic, crazy, quirky, fun, energetic, and very comfortable in her own skin. She was also a pale skinned tanorexic, dark haired chica like myself. We just got each other. The last day I ever saw her was August 9, 2003, the day I got married. That same week while Darrell and I went on our honeymoon she moved to Indiana. We stayed in touch for a while but we eventually lost touch. I have always had her on my heart and secretly hoped she'd reappear. This week we have officially picked up where we left off. She called me a couple of weeks ago to tell me that she went through a very difficult period in her life and needed to move back to Orlando. She was wondering if I could help her get a job quickly. I was more than happy to grant her that favor. She officially started working with me this week and my boss asked me to train her so we've been able to spend a lot of time together. I feel like she never left. We were laughing today about some of the memories we have together and she confirmed my feeling as well. She said to me, "laughing about that makes me feel like I never left." I love that. In that moment it was as if August 2003 just picked up again in September 2007 with no lapse in between. This blesses me beyond words.
If this type of full circle friendship can continue with us imagine what God is capable of. I've had lapses in my life when my relationship and friendship with Him has not been maintained. I missed my time connecting with Him. I felt guilty for not reading my bible like I should or talking to Him regularly. I now realize that He is waiting in anticipation for me to contribute to our relationship again during those times. I think God just wants to hang out with me. He wants to be the friend that sticks closer than a brother to me. He wants to do life with me. I'm so amazed that He wants to know me through everything. The joys, the sorrows, the ups, the downs. He is my rock and my salvation. He is the ultimate friend and I'm so glad I can live in the assurance that He will never leave me. He waits for me. Be encouraged that He waits for you to. If you've had a season of wondering He anticipates picking up where you left off. God is love.
A couple of years ago I worked at Saks Fifth Avenue. I had a friend there that I instantly bonded with. She was artistic, crazy, quirky, fun, energetic, and very comfortable in her own skin. She was also a pale skinned tanorexic, dark haired chica like myself. We just got each other. The last day I ever saw her was August 9, 2003, the day I got married. That same week while Darrell and I went on our honeymoon she moved to Indiana. We stayed in touch for a while but we eventually lost touch. I have always had her on my heart and secretly hoped she'd reappear. This week we have officially picked up where we left off. She called me a couple of weeks ago to tell me that she went through a very difficult period in her life and needed to move back to Orlando. She was wondering if I could help her get a job quickly. I was more than happy to grant her that favor. She officially started working with me this week and my boss asked me to train her so we've been able to spend a lot of time together. I feel like she never left. We were laughing today about some of the memories we have together and she confirmed my feeling as well. She said to me, "laughing about that makes me feel like I never left." I love that. In that moment it was as if August 2003 just picked up again in September 2007 with no lapse in between. This blesses me beyond words.
If this type of full circle friendship can continue with us imagine what God is capable of. I've had lapses in my life when my relationship and friendship with Him has not been maintained. I missed my time connecting with Him. I felt guilty for not reading my bible like I should or talking to Him regularly. I now realize that He is waiting in anticipation for me to contribute to our relationship again during those times. I think God just wants to hang out with me. He wants to be the friend that sticks closer than a brother to me. He wants to do life with me. I'm so amazed that He wants to know me through everything. The joys, the sorrows, the ups, the downs. He is my rock and my salvation. He is the ultimate friend and I'm so glad I can live in the assurance that He will never leave me. He waits for me. Be encouraged that He waits for you to. If you've had a season of wondering He anticipates picking up where you left off. God is love.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Fanmail
fanmail video
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These are the lyrics to "Fanmail" by KJ-52. Check out the video. I hope it makes you think like it did me. Are we showing others that God can take the pain away?
My arms are sliced up but I'm not embarrassed
It's the only way I get attention now from my parents
It's not like they really take the time to be caring
They just use me to watch the baby when they run they errands
My name is ___ I got a friend named Karen
She gave me your CD with the track for Eminem
You wrote a song called #1 fan I listened and
I wanted to know if you can help me like you was helping them
She had something even harder to be mentioning
Like every single day I struggle just with fitting in
Plus the boys won't give me no attention and
I get teased and made fun of by all my friends and then
See I'm feeling like I'm wishing now that I could end
My life cuz I'm sick and tired of all the time I spend
Trying to figure out how I could be worth anything
Can u help me KJ from your fan
I'm writing this letter
Cause I have to tell ya
I need some help from you
I'm writing this letter
I hope that you get it
I need some help from you
I live with my mom ever since my parents split
And At home I spend my time on the Internet
Looking at porn Im addicted and I'm sick of it
Myspace dot com is mostly where I'm getting it
On top of that there's videos that I can watch
And I really wanna quit but its like I can't stop
See I'm scared that I'm just gonna get caught
And when I see a girl all I think is dirty thoughts
And its not that I don't know that it's really wrong
But its right there for me every time I'm logging on
I got all your CD's I really like your songs
Well I downloaded em but anyway moving on
My screen name is KJ-52 is the bomb
I want to do a website KJ rock's dot com
I really some help cuz I can't tell my Mom
Oh by the way my real name is ___
I'm writing this letter
Cause I have to tell ya
I need some help from you
I'm writing this letter
I hope that you get it
I need some help from you
I took the time just to write you
We play you every Wednesday at my youth group
I love your music and we all think that you's cool
But I been struggling ever since I moved to a new school
See everybody thinks that I'm the perfect Christian girl
I had a hard time trying to believe that God is real
I've been on mission trips and camps the whole deal
My dad had cancer tho I prayed that God would heal
But he died anyway so it's hard to feel
Like he cares about me so was it God's will
To take away my dad I really got a raw deal
Sometimes I just want to swallow all my mom's pills
When I pray I really doubt it
I've lost my way or maybe I've never found it
I been smoking and drinking nobody knows about it
By the way my name is ___ don't mispronounce it...
If I could write to every kid that's out there
Every kid that's hurting feels like nobody cares
I would tell them that God can wipe away tear
And he's right near and I would say it quite clear
Your here for a reason you're not a mistake
You are a special creation that God himself made
To the victims of abuse to every girl that was raped
You can live you can be free from your pain
And find strength and no longer be ashamed
You can find peace and hope In Jesus name
You aint gotta live with this hurt every day
Christ came to give you life in a much better way
To every kid right now that's full of hate
And bitterness I'd tell em just to give it all away
To the one that came to take all the blame
That's what I'd write here's what I'd say
Add to My Profile | More Videos
These are the lyrics to "Fanmail" by KJ-52. Check out the video. I hope it makes you think like it did me. Are we showing others that God can take the pain away?
My arms are sliced up but I'm not embarrassed
It's the only way I get attention now from my parents
It's not like they really take the time to be caring
They just use me to watch the baby when they run they errands
My name is ___ I got a friend named Karen
She gave me your CD with the track for Eminem
You wrote a song called #1 fan I listened and
I wanted to know if you can help me like you was helping them
She had something even harder to be mentioning
Like every single day I struggle just with fitting in
Plus the boys won't give me no attention and
I get teased and made fun of by all my friends and then
See I'm feeling like I'm wishing now that I could end
My life cuz I'm sick and tired of all the time I spend
Trying to figure out how I could be worth anything
Can u help me KJ from your fan
I'm writing this letter
Cause I have to tell ya
I need some help from you
I'm writing this letter
I hope that you get it
I need some help from you
I live with my mom ever since my parents split
And At home I spend my time on the Internet
Looking at porn Im addicted and I'm sick of it
Myspace dot com is mostly where I'm getting it
On top of that there's videos that I can watch
And I really wanna quit but its like I can't stop
See I'm scared that I'm just gonna get caught
And when I see a girl all I think is dirty thoughts
And its not that I don't know that it's really wrong
But its right there for me every time I'm logging on
I got all your CD's I really like your songs
Well I downloaded em but anyway moving on
My screen name is KJ-52 is the bomb
I want to do a website KJ rock's dot com
I really some help cuz I can't tell my Mom
Oh by the way my real name is ___
I'm writing this letter
Cause I have to tell ya
I need some help from you
I'm writing this letter
I hope that you get it
I need some help from you
I took the time just to write you
We play you every Wednesday at my youth group
I love your music and we all think that you's cool
But I been struggling ever since I moved to a new school
See everybody thinks that I'm the perfect Christian girl
I had a hard time trying to believe that God is real
I've been on mission trips and camps the whole deal
My dad had cancer tho I prayed that God would heal
But he died anyway so it's hard to feel
Like he cares about me so was it God's will
To take away my dad I really got a raw deal
Sometimes I just want to swallow all my mom's pills
When I pray I really doubt it
I've lost my way or maybe I've never found it
I been smoking and drinking nobody knows about it
By the way my name is ___ don't mispronounce it...
If I could write to every kid that's out there
Every kid that's hurting feels like nobody cares
I would tell them that God can wipe away tear
And he's right near and I would say it quite clear
Your here for a reason you're not a mistake
You are a special creation that God himself made
To the victims of abuse to every girl that was raped
You can live you can be free from your pain
And find strength and no longer be ashamed
You can find peace and hope In Jesus name
You aint gotta live with this hurt every day
Christ came to give you life in a much better way
To every kid right now that's full of hate
And bitterness I'd tell em just to give it all away
To the one that came to take all the blame
That's what I'd write here's what I'd say
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Critical comments saved for me
I hate games. Board games, card games, mind games etc. There is one game I will play though. It's a game that is universal. Everyone plays it at one time or another whether they like games or not. It's the blame game. I have found that I've been playing this one a lot lately. It starts with, "I've been done wrong and it's all their fault." Unlike Monopoly I own nothing and yet I feel as though I've won. I've handed full responsibility to someone else for my actions and somehow feel accomplished about that. It's difficult for me to allow people to see my weaknesses but by posting them I publicly confront them. I don't want people to think I'm perfect but sometimes I just don't want them to know how imperfect I am. I take the approach of "you can know my quirks just not my issues." Well I have an issue and I'm not putting this one on someone else... I'm going to own it.
I really dislike someone. This is someone very specific. It comes from having my feelings hurt repeatedly by her. It got to a point where I did approach her. I didn't get everything off my chest though because I wanted to protect an environment for others around me. I hate that these feelings control my emotional balance when I hear her name. Out of all the people who I've felt wronged by... there is just one in particular that I feel controlled by. It hurts when you feel like someone doesn't get you or doesn't like you for whatever reason. I always felt like this person didn't "get" me and never made an attempt to even when I invited her to. The whole situation reminds me of that old saying, "two wrongs don't make a right." Even more convicting, Galatians 6:1-5 "Live creatively, friends. If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him (or her-I added that), saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day's out. Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. Share their burdens, and so complete Christ's law. If you think you are too good for that, you are badly deceived. Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and sink yourself into that. Don't be impressed with yourself. Don't compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life."
Critical comments for myself (In many areas of my life)
-Who am I not to forgive... I'm no better than the person I feel hurt by.
-I'm being self righteous by getting some sort of satisfaction out of thinking I have a right to hold onto this anger.
-How many times have I needed to ask for forgiveness... so publicly... I ask again.
-People will always lie, cheat, manipulate, slander, hurt others, distract, try to hinder your purpose or wait for failure... I need to "get over it" and move on with my life. I cannot let others control me. I allow things to distract my purpose and God is patiently waiting for me to get with it.
-I'm being just as hurtful by holding onto my unforgiveness.
-God can only bless me so much before the blessing ends if I continue to harbor resentment.
-I need to show more grace.
-I need to learn to love more.
God is so good though. He extends overwhelming grace again and again. He has still worked in my life even though I throw up many obstacles. God has shown me love and blessing in spite of my weakness. In my weakness He shows up. I never want to forget who I am and who He has created me to be. I know my purpose so I choose to fully sink myself into that. I will mess up again. It's a given. This is my journey. I may feel like I've dealt with an issue but the test of really knowing I've dealt with it is when it comes up again and again... what is my response... is it different this time? I need to learn to extend more grace... God always extends it to me. The "love your enemy, and learn to forgive" thing comes up a lot for me. What is my response this time? What is He trying to teach me through this? I'm grateful that God extends forgiveness 100% of the time even when it takes me way to long to ask for it. I pray that this admission on my part helps others forgive. I'm tired of hearing, reading and seeing ugliness in people who claim to be followers in Christ. Shame on us... no, shame on me. I pray that my forgiveness restores you. Now I ask you to forgive me. I ask her to forgive me. I'm not playing the game anymore. Save your critical comments for yourself. I'm owning mine...
Love is the movement.
I really dislike someone. This is someone very specific. It comes from having my feelings hurt repeatedly by her. It got to a point where I did approach her. I didn't get everything off my chest though because I wanted to protect an environment for others around me. I hate that these feelings control my emotional balance when I hear her name. Out of all the people who I've felt wronged by... there is just one in particular that I feel controlled by. It hurts when you feel like someone doesn't get you or doesn't like you for whatever reason. I always felt like this person didn't "get" me and never made an attempt to even when I invited her to. The whole situation reminds me of that old saying, "two wrongs don't make a right." Even more convicting, Galatians 6:1-5 "Live creatively, friends. If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him (or her-I added that), saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day's out. Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. Share their burdens, and so complete Christ's law. If you think you are too good for that, you are badly deceived. Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and sink yourself into that. Don't be impressed with yourself. Don't compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life."
Critical comments for myself (In many areas of my life)
-Who am I not to forgive... I'm no better than the person I feel hurt by.
-I'm being self righteous by getting some sort of satisfaction out of thinking I have a right to hold onto this anger.
-How many times have I needed to ask for forgiveness... so publicly... I ask again.
-People will always lie, cheat, manipulate, slander, hurt others, distract, try to hinder your purpose or wait for failure... I need to "get over it" and move on with my life. I cannot let others control me. I allow things to distract my purpose and God is patiently waiting for me to get with it.
-I'm being just as hurtful by holding onto my unforgiveness.
-God can only bless me so much before the blessing ends if I continue to harbor resentment.
-I need to show more grace.
-I need to learn to love more.
God is so good though. He extends overwhelming grace again and again. He has still worked in my life even though I throw up many obstacles. God has shown me love and blessing in spite of my weakness. In my weakness He shows up. I never want to forget who I am and who He has created me to be. I know my purpose so I choose to fully sink myself into that. I will mess up again. It's a given. This is my journey. I may feel like I've dealt with an issue but the test of really knowing I've dealt with it is when it comes up again and again... what is my response... is it different this time? I need to learn to extend more grace... God always extends it to me. The "love your enemy, and learn to forgive" thing comes up a lot for me. What is my response this time? What is He trying to teach me through this? I'm grateful that God extends forgiveness 100% of the time even when it takes me way to long to ask for it. I pray that this admission on my part helps others forgive. I'm tired of hearing, reading and seeing ugliness in people who claim to be followers in Christ. Shame on us... no, shame on me. I pray that my forgiveness restores you. Now I ask you to forgive me. I ask her to forgive me. I'm not playing the game anymore. Save your critical comments for yourself. I'm owning mine...
Love is the movement.
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