Sunday Blog Banter

This has been the slowest Christmas season ever for me at work. I have worked in retail my whole life and have never been this bored at work during the holiday season. Well that all changed Friday and Saturday. It was as if a whirlwind of shoppers overtook Bloomingdales and specifically the YSL cosmetic counter! At one point Saturday I did in one hour the business I can do in a whole day... a busy day at that!

Saturday night my mom's community group came over after I got off of work for a Christmas party at our house. My mom has some really cool people in there. We had a lot of fun and I really enjoyed having them over. It's always a wonderful thing in my world to get to know people better. We talked about everything! I can't even recap because it literally was just about everything! I love having people over and I wish I could more often.

My mother-in-law is in North Carolina for the holidays. Darrell and I have the house to ourselves for the first time since we've lived here. We moved in April and between my sister and nephew living with us at one point and then moving her in it has been exciting in the Loper household. Quite frankly, I love them all dearly but I'm ecstatic the house is empty right now because we all need a break! I love that it is just the two of us for a couple of weeks.

I'm soooo excited to be moving to the theaters in three weeks. I can't believe it's almost here! What an amazing place for us to be to reach out to our community! I can't wait to see the main worship area and Powerhouse. I sing in Powerhouse and from what I understand the theater is going to really be crazy fun for the kids! I went to the children's ministry lunch today after service and I was so impressed with all of the volunteers who were there to serve in children's ministry. I'm so proud of what God is doing at C3! Darrell and I are pumped about all of those who have stepped up to serve in Connections as well. The curb to curb experience it so important and I'm anxious to hear and see what God is going to do through your smiling faces and warm receptions. There are so many vital areas God will use you in when you are just willing. I love the willingness of my C3 family! God will bless that more than any of us even know!

Well I'm gonna get a little shut eye before I head off on my hot date with my hot man! Have a great week and BTW check out the new C3 women's blog ... I can't wait to read some more great, encouraging blogs!

Life in the Gutter

I just finished reading "The Gutter: Where Life Is Meant To Be Lived" by Craig Gross. He is the co-founder of XXXChurch.com. This book talks about how Jesus lived a life of meeting people in their deep, dark places and how we as Christ-followers are called to do the same. It is thought provoking and insightful. I wanted to share some quotes that really stuck out to me.

-Those who are most opposed to the gutter are those who have been there the least.

-The gutter is the place where the "least of them" live. *Matthew 25:45

-If Christians would stop being scared of the world-or the gutter-I think most of them would find out for themselves that it is definitely not the place they want to be. It a change of perception I wish more people would adopt: to focus more on the great life we have in Christ than on the fleeting lures of the gutter. The more afraid we are of the gutter, the larger it looms and the more tempting it becomes.

-When you look at the way Jesus and the things He did, the way He brought light to darkness, you can plainly see we have nothing to be scared of.

-God did not create you to be a scared, irrelevant Christian.

-If you go to the gutter you have to be willing to stay in the gutter. Our Christian mentality is to visit the gutter over spring break or during a summer missions trip.

-Don't blame the dark for being dark. Blame the light for not shining on the dark.

-Jesus was a genuine lover of people, and everyone flocked to Him because He met needs, not because He preached about the kingdom of heaven. He met needs first as a practical way of showing that He loved people, then He got into the meatier theological issues.

-Whom are we fighting? Are we fighting to win the world to Christ? Or are we just fighting among ourselves in church? Are we too much about getting fed and too little about exercising our faith? Yes, we keep fighting the good fight, but must we fight our brothers and sisters in Christ? No one wins that way. Why can't we all put our focus on the lost, those living in the dark places, the "whosoevers" that are so close to Christ's heart?

-Where darkness abounds, love is brighter.

And... this was the most mind boggling to me.

-The unchurched embraced Him (Jesus) then, but they don't now. So when did this spiritual reversal occur? When did the "lost" change their position? They didn't. We did. Christians did. Somewhere between the time Jesus ascended into heaven and now, we Christians, the walking billboards for Jesus' life-changing power, have done a lousy job of maintaining His momentum. Those who despise Him shifted too. The religious who once hated Him now advertise for Him. The lost who once hung out with Him now refuse to acknowledge Him and it is all because Christians changed. God didn't change. Jesus didn't change. His people did. At one point, the God who embraced the gutter was well represented. Jesus walked the streets and took an authentic love with Him-all the way to the gutter. Wherever He went, the unchurched responded while the religious scorned. Fast forward two thousand years and now the reverse is true.

The gutter is different for everyone. God calls us each to accomplish a specific purpose. Where is your gutter? Who are those you need to reach out to in their deep, dark place? I'm challenged by this.

A Delicate Weave

A couple of blogs back I told you about my friend Miss Amy. Today was the day I brought her the peaches. Something divine happened. There was a knock on her door. Miss Amy asked me to get it... so I did. There were 2 pastors from another church in our community there. One of them I know very well. He is an older gentleman that pastors a senior adult ministry. He's known me and my family since I was 2 years old. Imagine the stories he has about me! I love this man and his family very much. He truly has a heart for the seniors in our community and works his tail off to reach just one more. He serves in a very different church environment than ours at C3 but he is flat out getting it done for Christ in his community. He told me that he met Miss Amy just recently and that she had just prayed to receive Christ. I was almost in tears! This is what ministry is all about! I knew God had put Miss Amy in my life for a reason and today it all became clear. I may not have been there when she prayed her prayer of faith but I know God has used me to plant some seeds of love. Furthermore her nurse told us that right before Bill got really sick he gave his life to Christ as well. Her nurse is a Christ-follower and led Bill to the Lord. I am so thankful for these people in Miss Amy's life. These are the moments where life really matters. God places us around certain people for a very specific purpose. We all have different stories and different backgrounds. God uses many methods to reach those around us. I'm so grateful for the methods of C3. We are tirelessly devoted. I'm also grateful for the methods of my pastor friend and Miss Amy's nurse. It was a delicate weave that God knit together to bring Miss Amy to a relationship with Him. I love Miss Amy and I know that she would NEVER feel comfortable with the worship environment at C3 as an 89 year old woman. That's okay! I'm not insulted. My immediate circle of unchurched friends would probably NEVER feel comfortable in the worship environment of traditional churches. That okay too! We all serve a purpose for those who need hope. Thank you for your prayers for Miss Amy... God really does answer. His will is to always answer in a way that brings us together not tears us apart. This is something I've always known but needed to be reminded of.

Six Days of Bliss

I will be off from work for the next six days. I'm so excited because I just worked a long stretch of days to get here. It is nice to just rest. I've scheduled nothing but I am up for anything. I want to be spontaneous and available. Here is a general idea of some things I may be participating in.

-Cleaning and laundry
-Hang out with my hubby
-Spend time with my family
-Catch up with friends
-Head up to Universal to buy some tickets at Hard Rock
-Sleep a lot
-Go get a ManPed (what my sister's and I call Manicure/Pedicures)
-See a movie with my mother-in-law
-Contact some of my clients (my freelance work)
-Go to the Yves Saint Laurent company warehouse and trade some labor to get new FREE makeup (I love my boss... she hooks me up!)
-Set up a photo shoot to update my portfolio
-Finish reading Mark, move on to Luke in my bible... reading in general
-Go to church on Sunday (I'm so excited about the new series, "Dirty Little Secrets")and have lunch with my FOUR friends that will be coming for the first time!
-Watch some Tyler Perry/Madea stuff... the best plays and movies ever!
-Sleep a lot
-Update my facebook
-Blog
-Surround myself with positive, uplifting people, things, and activities
-Visit my friend Miss Amy
-Sleep a lot
-Force myself into the gym
-Look into trading in my car if I can get a deal
-Strategize my future goals
-Love my time and enjoy every minute
-The thing I'm most excited about... CU at C3!

I'm ready... let the fun begin. I just hope it doesn't fly by too quickly!

What I've Done

I'm forgiving what I've done.
Now what will I do?
Deuteronomy 15:10
Give freely and spontaneously. Don't have a stingy heart. The way you handle matters like this triggers God, your God's, blessing in everything you do, all your work and ventures. There are always going to be poor and needy people among you. So I command you: Always be generous, open purse and hands, give to your neighbors in trouble, your poor and hurting neighbors

Glossy Images

More and more I'm realizing that there is one huge danger that sticks out in my mind that relates to people who have been Christians a while. I have been guilty of it myself. I'm challenged by it everyday. I'll tell you what I think it is later but first I want to share a story with you.

There is this girl I know. She's the outgoing, up for anything, always wanting to make others happy type. Despite her joy she lives with a continuous sorrow. You see, the joy she has now comes from her faith in Christ but there is a life before that faith. The sorrow comes from those in her life who haven't experienced the same joy she has yet. Allow me to elaborate.

My friend grew up in a home where she knew both of her parents loved her. She also knew that her dad was an alcoholic. Because of the addiction in his life her dad was incapable of being the husband and father he needed to be. She knew of his late nights out, or nights away. She knew of his infidelities and flirtations. She knew... and what she knew hurt. She longed for him to have the faith in Christ he spoke of in church with his Sunday School class or as a deacon. She longed for him to cry out to God the way she saw her mother do it. She longed, and she prayed, and she screamed, and she cried. The message he spoke of with his mouth he knew in his mind but it had no meaning in his heart. This was all very confusing to my friend. Her dad was very harsh and critical towards other "sinners." Harshest to the ones who dealt with the sins he loathed secretly in himself. She didn't understand why he was so aggressive towards others when he was tearing her family apart with his actions. My friend dealt with huge insecurities because of this. Mostly with guys and trust. Her trust was broken again and again and again with guys in her life as she grew older. But God had plans for her. He pulled her from a life that could have ended in pain and destruction and set her on a path of genuinely knowing Him. She met the one, true God. The one her mother cried and clung to. Not the image of Him painted with empty words and fruitless actions. God now continues to place people in her life that have similar struggles. She prays that God will use her life to affect others. My friend still prays for her dad. She still cries out to God for Him. She still has a place of grieving for him. But she has hope.

My friend... is me.

The danger that we face as Christ followers is forgetting what God saved us from. We should not dwell in our pasts but we must learn from it. It is very safe to surround ourselves with people who look like us, talk like us, and act like us but that is not what Jesus did. Jesus was perfect... who would he have hung out with when he came to earth? He was purposeful in being a friend to the sinners. That bears repeating. Jesus was purposeful in being a friend to the sinners.

It is so easy to criticize others. Usually the things we criticize the most are the things we struggle with in ourselves. I do it. I violently twitch inside when someone does something around me that I know I deal with in myself. I want to remember the things Christ has accomplished in me. I need to be reminded of His grace. If I forget the grace He's shown me then how can I be willing to tell others about it? If I forget His grace then how can I extend it to others? I don't want to live a life of glossy images and rose colored scenarios. God allowed me to face the trials in my life to glorify Him. I want my life to be a real example... not a fairy tale version of whatever I make it out to be. I love when my sister says, "don't be a stoner." I don't want to throw the stones of inadequacy at someone because they sure hurt when they are thrown at me. I ask God to never let me forget grace because people's lives are too valuable. My daddy's life is too valuable.

Ephesians 2
7 -10Now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It's God's gift from start to finish! We don't play the major role. If we did, we'd probably go around bragging that we'd done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing.

Don't Call Me A Christian- Revisited

*Darrell and I met with our college home team tonight. We are going through the book "Blue Like Jazz." I read this book a while ago and it quickly became my favorite read. If you haven't read it I strongly suggest it. We discussed Chapter 11 tonight and it reminded me of my very first blog. Chapter 11 challenged my thought of "being IN the world and not of it." We must not shelter ourselves. A lot of "religious" Christians hide behind this verse by only emphasizing the part of not being of the world. We have a responsibility as Christ followers though to be very relevant IN this world. I'm reposting my first blog tonight because I'm in a constant state of feeling the things I write about in it. Those feelings hit me hard again tonight.

When I think about what it means now to be called a "Christian" I get knots in my stomach. I have no shame in lining myself up with Jesus Christ but it hurts me to align myself with those that say they represent Him and show no love to those who are different than them. I've grown up in church all my life and have seen hundreds upon thousands of Christians who know a lot but don't show a lot. I would be a liar if I said that was never me. Growing up I took a lot of pride in being a "good girl." I followed all the rules that were indoctrinated into me. Regardless of all my deeds I had a dead faith. I looked upon those who were different as messed up or corrupt. I needed Jesus to resurrect Himself in my life again. I was the so-called Christian like the church in Galatians. The one enslaved by law forgetting about my freedom in Christ. God is a God of change yet He always stays the same. The change He is doing is within me.

I have a friend of mine that just gave her life to the Lord. I'm quite emotional about it. I truly think it is the first time that God has intentionally placed me in someone's life and I layed my pride aside. God used her in my life to teach me a lesson and bless me through her newfound faith. My interactions with her and my prayers for her were not based on another notch in my evangelism belt but out of a deep need to show love again. Love that saved me from bitterness and anger. Love that saved me from mediocrity and hypocricy. That is not to say that I am not mediocre or hypocritical at times. I am... I am human, but through Christ I am made whole and perfect. He purges the impurities in my life and actually uses my weaknesses to show His strengths. If he can change a jaded Christian and turn them into a loving Christ follower, then He can truly save anyone. 99% of the time it is the "Christian" that shows the least amount of love in this world. We need change more than those we consider the greatest offenders because we represent Him... and what a poor representation of the love of God we have shown.

Let me finish by saying this. How can we say that we love God and not truly love others? I've read this so much I've memorized it. It is so engrained that I could rattle it off to the point of it having little or no meaning. Let it mean something. 1 Corinthians 13:1-7&13 "If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn't love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God's secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn't love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it, but if I didn't love others, I would have gained nothing. LOVE IS PATIENT AND KIND. LOVE IS NOT JEALOUS OR BOASTFUL OR PROUD OR RUDE. IT DOES DEMAND IT'S OWN WAY. IT IS NOT IRRITABLE, AND IT KEEPS NO RECORD OF BEING WRONGED. IT DOES NOT REJOICE ABOUT INJUSTICE BUT REJOICES WHENEVER THE TRUTH WINS OUT. LOVE NEVER GIVES UP, NEVER LOSES FAITH, IS ALWAYS HOPEFUL, AND ENDURES THROUGH EVERY CIRCUMSTANCE. Three things will last forever-faith, hope, and love-and the greatest of these is love."

A Fight for Love!

I think it's fitting to write about social issues today. In part, in honor of my friend Leigh Ann's birthday. I love Leigh Ann's raw honesty and humor, but lately I have been amazed and challenged by her heart. She is someone who I can honestly say has fought her traditional views of Christianity, God and the church - even to the point of sacrifice. She has been honest in her struggles and transparent in her questioning of the true mission of Christ. She is developing a real sense of being "others focused", and it is a beautiful transformation. Happy birthday, Leigh Ann. You challenge me and make me laugh. Thanks. You rock, and love does win. Peace.

I don't desire that my blog be a place for political commentary.

And if I were going to discuss politics, I more than likely wouldn't be in the same camp with a President from Columbia University.

But, today, I am in agreement - because after all, the Columbia President (Lee Bollinger) - who spoke before Iran's President Ahmadinejad - spoke more about freedom and the recognition of evil, than just recycling a bunch of political rhetoric.

His passionate speech was about the triumph of good over evil. It was about vigilantly holding brutal tyranny accountable for human suffering. It was about freedom and truth.

These are to be the ideals of the church, but one rarely hears these things from the evangelical pulpit. Why?

Why do we seem afraid to have discourse about issues of social justice? Is it not in the heart of God to "plead the case of the oppressed"? Are we terrified of being labeled "liberal" or worse?

It's a difficult path for the Christ-follower to travel. To marry an evangelical passion for each person's soul and eternity with a passion to meet the practical and social needs of the down-trodden. It is difficult, but following Christ demands that we try, even to the point of sacrifice.

Are we too afraid of labels or misunderstanding to be proactive...or just too lazy?

This speech today, from someone with whom I would most likely be on the polar opposite end of the political spectrum, reminded me of the things going on around the world that I am likely to forget in my comfortable, suburban, American existence. It reminded me of what the absence of love...of God can cause.

So, how do we fight brutality and evil - with love. And love demands action. The action of love is powerful, but it should be because it is of God. God is love, and if we are about the things of God, then we are about love.

Love hears, sees and demands action, and the best part is...LOVE WINS.

But, we do have to get in the game.

Peace.

C3... un.orthodox!

Okay, okay... so I'm the rap girl. I love all music but hip hop is just soooooooo cool! Darrell and I visited Crossover Church in Tampa a few weeks ago. This is the pastor. He goes by the name Urban D. and this video describes C3 Church culture as well. His vision is to be un.orthodox in reaching the community around him for Christ. I'm so grateful that Pastor Byron is seeking God first and prays for un.orthodox methods to reach the lost. I've included some of the lyrics at the end of the song that I think fits C3 perfectly!

Urban D. "Un.orthodox" Music Video

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Vs. 3 On my journey’s people ask my occupation I tell em’ I’m a pastor and an artist – there’s amazement True engagement / Sometimes I wish I could take they look and frame it They can’t picture a cat that’s braided Cuz the old school presentation got em’ jaded But so many people waited (For a ministry out the box) With no cultural locks (C3 Church) – unorthodox Dreadlocks fades and fitted’s A multi-cultural faith community that’s committed To the great commandment and the great commission We orthodox in our beliefs, but not in our fishin’ We into Biblical context and not tradition Cuz we’re more concerned about your heart’s condition (We got a passion from God) – so we’re Purpose Driven We look just like you – but we found what’s missin’

This is my shout out to my family at C3! Let's be un.orthodox!

Hangin' with My Herd

Byron and I have two "Barrys" in our lives: Barry Leathers (C3 Executive Pastor, and he and Amanda are some of our closest friends), and Barry Oser (Kayleigh's boyfriend and "like a son" to us). Ironically, both of them posted the same YouTube video around the same period of time, and had a similar take on it. You can check out their blogs about this video here and here.

Of course this video was moving to me - and I draw my own analogies from it as well. It just depends on the day as to which "character" I identify with the most. Many days, I can relate to the baby water buffalo: the enemy will try to "pick me off", isolate me from sources of protection, strength and encouragement, and pull me to pieces. Other days, I feel like the powerful buffalo that knocks the crouching lions into the air and won't back down no matter what comes (these days are more rare).

Then some days, I can identify best with the on-lookers who watch in helpless horror as the scene unfolds - knowing that the lions are behaving like lions - with their cunning ability to sense weakness and attack when you're at your weakest point, and the crocodiles are doing the same - looking out for their own appetites - not making the initial attack, but wanting to benefit from the struggle.

One of the most profound aspects of this video, for me, was the fact that the herd of buffalo never give up on the baby - even when it seems certain that there was no hope of survival - even when all seems lost, they won't leave the fallen one behind. They seem to understand that they are only as strong as their weakest "member" - and if they don't fight back, they will lose more and more of themselves to the enemy.

Of course, we can relate to this: as Christ-followers, in the ministry, as members of a unique community of faith like C3 Church...

We have to "have each other's backs"; otherwise, we can be picked-off, torn to pieces, and left for dead spiritually, emotionally and in all the important areas of life. I thank God that Byron and I KNOW that there are other honkin' "buffalo" in our lives that come hell or high water, have our backs - often at great personal sacrifice.

We are the buffalo - and we're not going to give up the fight until all the people who have felt disenfranchised by the church, outside of the grace of God, and disillusioned by "religion" hear that they've not been left...the herd is coming and the "lions" and "crocs" will have to have their appetites for destruction filled another day. The herd is circling...FAIR WARNING.

Love is the movement - Peace out.

Fanmail

fanmail video

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These are the lyrics to "Fanmail" by KJ-52. Check out the video. I hope it makes you think like it did me. Are we showing others that God can take the pain away?

My arms are sliced up but I'm not embarrassed
It's the only way I get attention now from my parents
It's not like they really take the time to be caring
They just use me to watch the baby when they run they errands
My name is ___ I got a friend named Karen
She gave me your CD with the track for Eminem
You wrote a song called #1 fan I listened and
I wanted to know if you can help me like you was helping them
She had something even harder to be mentioning
Like every single day I struggle just with fitting in
Plus the boys won't give me no attention and
I get teased and made fun of by all my friends and then
See I'm feeling like I'm wishing now that I could end
My life cuz I'm sick and tired of all the time I spend
Trying to figure out how I could be worth anything
Can u help me KJ from your fan

I'm writing this letter
Cause I have to tell ya
I need some help from you
I'm writing this letter
I hope that you get it
I need some help from you

I live with my mom ever since my parents split
And At home I spend my time on the Internet
Looking at porn Im addicted and I'm sick of it
Myspace dot com is mostly where I'm getting it
On top of that there's videos that I can watch
And I really wanna quit but its like I can't stop
See I'm scared that I'm just gonna get caught
And when I see a girl all I think is dirty thoughts
And its not that I don't know that it's really wrong
But its right there for me every time I'm logging on
I got all your CD's I really like your songs
Well I downloaded em but anyway moving on
My screen name is KJ-52 is the bomb
I want to do a website KJ rock's dot com
I really some help cuz I can't tell my Mom
Oh by the way my real name is ___

I'm writing this letter
Cause I have to tell ya
I need some help from you
I'm writing this letter
I hope that you get it
I need some help from you

I took the time just to write you
We play you every Wednesday at my youth group
I love your music and we all think that you's cool
But I been struggling ever since I moved to a new school
See everybody thinks that I'm the perfect Christian girl
I had a hard time trying to believe that God is real
I've been on mission trips and camps the whole deal
My dad had cancer tho I prayed that God would heal
But he died anyway so it's hard to feel
Like he cares about me so was it God's will
To take away my dad I really got a raw deal
Sometimes I just want to swallow all my mom's pills
When I pray I really doubt it
I've lost my way or maybe I've never found it
I been smoking and drinking nobody knows about it
By the way my name is ___ don't mispronounce it...

If I could write to every kid that's out there
Every kid that's hurting feels like nobody cares
I would tell them that God can wipe away tear
And he's right near and I would say it quite clear
Your here for a reason you're not a mistake
You are a special creation that God himself made
To the victims of abuse to every girl that was raped
You can live you can be free from your pain
And find strength and no longer be ashamed
You can find peace and hope In Jesus name
You aint gotta live with this hurt every day
Christ came to give you life in a much better way
To every kid right now that's full of hate
And bitterness I'd tell em just to give it all away
To the one that came to take all the blame
That's what I'd write here's what I'd say

"Super Verna" & the C3 Crew

Since we are all about children at C3 Church, we are thrilled that Verna Gange is now the director of our children's ministries. Verna has worked in the corporate world as well as in several schools. She is an administrative "dynamo" with a let's get it done attitude. She has a great love for children and education, so we know she will be a great asset as we pursue excellence in our ministries to children.

Along with Pastor Travis, she and her crew - Don Jacobson, Marlene Pagan, Monica Hunt and a number of hard-working volunteers - are committed to taking "Powerhouse" and "First Look" to a whole new level of excellence and fun!

The fall is going to ROCK at C3!

Thanks to Verna and her "crew" for loving God by loving kids! You are awesome and...

YOU ARE SO C3!

Sandi - Revisited

Since Sandi has been "out of pocket" for quite a while, here's some of her best stuff to remind us to be grateful that we are free...FREE TO BE C3!:

"Freedom. It's something we're all thankful for but often take for granted. Today is a day for us to reflect and thank God for our freedom.

As I was thinking about how thankful I am to live in a free country, I began to think about our awesome church. Freedom doesn't come without a cost and our freedom to be the church that God called us to be also did not come without a cost. We've had to fight for our freedom and there was great pain and suffering and some casualties along the way. However, there are no longer people coming through our doors day after day who want to destroy God's work at C3.

We are finally free to be the C3 church that God want us to be. Free to worship God the C3 way. Free to reach people of all races for Christ. Free to follow the vision that God has given our pastors. Freedom feels good and it is worth the price we paid."

Thanks, Sandi, for reminding us that when life-change is at stake, no price is too high. It's awesome, and...

IT'S SO C3!

Dentists and Ministry

Today I took my oldest daughter, Emma to the dentist. It was her first visit and she was surprisingly excited about it! She did very well and has no cavities. (Yeah!--She's got her daddy's teeth, hopefully his vision, also!)

Going to the dentist is one of my least favorite places to go. Not because I don't like my dentist, but because of the excruciating noises, the way that they expect you to carry on a conversation with 8 tools in your mouth, and the bad news that I usually receive before I leave. ("We need to schedule you for a root canal." or "You have 4 more crowns that need to be put on, when can we schedule you for your first one?" or "That will be $678.94.")

The visit that I have the worst memory of from the dentist was when I had a root canal a couple of years ago. For those of you who have never had a root canal, there is usually no way to avoid having one unless you want to live with the pain. I had to lay in a chair, fully awake, with my mouth wide open (yes, I know I have a large mouth, but it still hurt!) for approximately an hour and a half. I had medicine to numb my mouth, but I could hear every drill and scrape for the entire time, which was just as painful. The dentist asked me question after question and all I could do was grunt or (slightly) shake or nod my head.

This reminds me of being a pastor's wife. So often we are expected to act or talk a certain way. People (dentists) are watching us (asking us questions), waiting for us to mess up and so often we don't have the words or actions THEY want to hear or see. It's like we're talking with a mouth full of gauze...they can't understand what we are saying. It's painful to try to live up to other people's expectations of us. We want people to like us and not have unrealistic expectations of us.

God has taught me so much about this over the past year. It doesn't matter what other people expect from me! It doesn't matter that others want to see me act a certain way or say the "right" thing. God created me to be ME! He didn't create me to please everyone else. I live for an audience of ONE. I believe this has been a hard lesson for me to learn. I grew up as a pastor's daughter and ALWAYS did the right thing, not just because I didn't want to disappoint God, but because I didn't want to disappoint others or my parents.

I am so thankful that I don't have to pretend to be someone I am not. I am thankful that God has placed me in the ministry to serve alongside Barry, not to please others but to please HIM. I am so excited about what God has done and will continue to do in my life and in the lives of so many others at c3.

Next week I will go back to the dentist to get one more crown put on a tooth. There will probably be more unpleasant visits, just like there will be unpleasant times in life, being a pastor's wife. But just like my tooth will look and feel better after I get a crown, I will be a better person because of the struggles in ministry and in life!

"Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." Galatians 1:9 - 10 (NIV)

Loving my teeth,
Amanda