Today I took my oldest daughter, Emma to the dentist. It was her first visit and she was surprisingly excited about it! She did very well and has no cavities. (Yeah!--She's got her daddy's teeth, hopefully his vision, also!)
Going to the dentist is one of my least favorite places to go. Not because I don't like my dentist, but because of the excruciating noises, the way that they expect you to carry on a conversation with 8 tools in your mouth, and the bad news that I usually receive before I leave. ("We need to schedule you for a root canal." or "You have 4 more crowns that need to be put on, when can we schedule you for your first one?" or "That will be $678.94.")
The visit that I have the worst memory of from the dentist was when I had a root canal a couple of years ago. For those of you who have never had a root canal, there is usually no way to avoid having one unless you want to live with the pain. I had to lay in a chair, fully awake, with my mouth wide open (yes, I know I have a large mouth, but it still hurt!) for approximately an hour and a half. I had medicine to numb my mouth, but I could hear every drill and scrape for the entire time, which was just as painful. The dentist asked me question after question and all I could do was grunt or (slightly) shake or nod my head.
This reminds me of being a pastor's wife. So often we are expected to act or talk a certain way. People (dentists) are watching us (asking us questions), waiting for us to mess up and so often we don't have the words or actions THEY want to hear or see. It's like we're talking with a mouth full of gauze...they can't understand what we are saying. It's painful to try to live up to other people's expectations of us. We want people to like us and not have unrealistic expectations of us.
God has taught me so much about this over the past year. It doesn't matter what other people expect from me! It doesn't matter that others want to see me act a certain way or say the "right" thing. God created me to be ME! He didn't create me to please everyone else. I live for an audience of ONE. I believe this has been a hard lesson for me to learn. I grew up as a pastor's daughter and ALWAYS did the right thing, not just because I didn't want to disappoint God, but because I didn't want to disappoint others or my parents.
I am so thankful that I don't have to pretend to be someone I am not. I am thankful that God has placed me in the ministry to serve alongside Barry, not to please others but to please HIM. I am so excited about what God has done and will continue to do in my life and in the lives of so many others at c3.
Next week I will go back to the dentist to get one more crown put on a tooth. There will probably be more unpleasant visits, just like there will be unpleasant times in life, being a pastor's wife. But just like my tooth will look and feel better after I get a crown, I will be a better person because of the struggles in ministry and in life!
"Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." Galatians 1:9 - 10 (NIV)
Loving my teeth,
Amanda
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2 comments:
So true - so true - (only in ministry you don't get nitrous oxide and novacaine). This is a sensitive subject for me because Byron was SUPPOSED to be a dentist - I was going to have lots of money and beautiful teeth!!! But it's all good. You rock! Peace.
They would have already burned me at the stake if I was a minister's wife. By the way...love your site. Hope you don't mind me reading it. It's like reading some one's diary and they can't see you! HA! This blogging is addictive.
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